It would take a book to discuss all the complexities involved in mother-daughter relationships and I sure don’t have it all figured out from either the daughter or the mother perspectives.
I was separated from my own mom at a young age. When I finally got to live with her again I was a 17 year old who didn’t need a mom – or so I thought. I had a short window of time where we connected after my daughter was born – then soon after she had a series of strokes that left her disabled and unable to speak for the last twenty years of her life.
So, as a mom, I am completely clueless as to what that relationship is supposed to feel like. It sucks for me, and it really sucks for my own daughter who has a mother with no clue about how to be a mom to a daughter.
We struggle. And I understand that many moms and daughters struggle. One thing I discovered this year is that we both just want to be heard. We want to be listened to and understood. It sounds easy and I’m still not sure why it isn’t. But realizing we have this need in common is a great place to start.