Turning the Big Five Oh No

I’m closing in on my fiftieth birthday and processing the feels is beginning to get a little overwhelming. 😬

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It’s not that I feel old or am even lamenting old age; it’s the milestone and the truths that need to be faced at this stage in life.  Just like turning 18 and we had all those choices to make and responsibility placed on our shoulders.  Do I go to college?  Do I join the military?  Do I move out of my parents house yet?  Do I vote or do I protest with my non vote? What do I want to do with the rest of my life?

Big questions on that milestone.  Huge.

It’s the same at fifty – only sort of a reversal in perspective – looking back instead of forward.  Have I accomplished anything?  Is my health good? Is there still time to make sure I will be okay in retirement?  How many years do I have left to serve my purpose?  Have I given the love I was meant to give?

Some people of my generation still don’t know their purpose.  And, unfortunately, it seems we are going to have less time to get done what we came here to do.  My generation is unhealthy.  We are burdened with the decisions of the generation before – fast food replacing family dinner, weapons of war in our neighborhoods, and killer chemicals in our mass produced fruits, vegetables, grains, and meat.

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We are the last generation of outside kids.  We’re the first generation of home video games, movie players, and round the clock tv entertainment.

We’re the Big Mac, Fillet o Fish, Quarter Pounder, French Fries, latchkey, ET, Atari, I want my MTV generation.

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We are too young to remember the pain of the Vietnam War or gas lines, but old enough to have been brought up on the Beetles, the Stones, and Disco.  My mom and uncles had the coolest music!

I do have such fond memories of being a kid.  It seems like just moments ago I was dancing with my mom to Sly and The Family Stone.

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She’s actually been gone for 6 years now, passing away just two weeks after turning 65.

65.

Fifteen years from now I’ll be 65.  If I had known when she turned 50 that I only had 15 more years with her…

 

Life is so short.  We are not guaranteed a minute beyond this one. Spend your love.  Don’t wait for the right time, the right person, the perfect circumstances, or enough money.

Love today.

Apologize.

Atone for your mistakes.

Forgive.

Make the call.

Send the card.

Buy the tickets.

Take the trip.

Say the words.

Live your passion.

Live. From. Love.

And keep doing it for all the days of your life.

That’s what I’m going to do. That’s my life plan from here on out.  No wasted moments.

I’mma make 50 feel like a teen girl at a Michael Jackson concert in 1984.

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💖 Genie