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Can’t Decide, writes;
I’ve got a decision to make and I just can’t do it. I’ve been in a relationship thats not great and my mom has asked me to move to live with her and start my life over. I’m not ready to give up on my boyfriend but a new life would maybe be what I need. How do I decide this? Help!
Dear Can’t Decide,
Well, this is certainly a life changing decision, yes? If you move your life will certainly change. If you stay then you have made the decision that this is the life you want – right? Because if you stay then you are choosing the way things are and choosing to live with the responsibility of that.
(I assume you have nothing else holding you where you are – job, children, other obligations – just deciding if you want to leave your relationship behind.)
See, I have a feeling you are thinking that things with the boyfriend will get better or change. Those are possibilities. They are potential events. They are hopes and wishes and dreams. They also are not real. They are figments of your imagination. They are fantasy. What makes imagination truth is ACTION. Is your boyfriend doing anything – taking any action – to create the relationship you desire and think it can be one-day-maybe-you-hope?
To make a decision you must get real. You must face the truth. And you must make a decision based on that truth and accept the consequences for that choice. You are not a victim or bound to anyone else’s choice or behavior. You have the power in your own life to choose what you want. Accept what is real and understand what is not real. Then take your power back for yourself.
Have you told your boyfriend what you desire from the relationship? If not, now maybe is the time. How does he feel about that? What does he desire from the relationship? How do you feel about that?
Get to the truth of your relationship. Accept it for what it is, not what you hope it to be. You’ll find a decision is easier to make once you get down to the truth. Either you want that truth or you don’t.
In Love & Light,