Dear Genie #27

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Not Feeling It writes:

Dear Genie,

For the first time ever that I can remember I didn’t set any new year’s resolutions.  I can’t think of anything I want that I feel that I can achieve this year.  I don’t want to say I have given up but I am really lost and just kind of feeling I don’t see the point in trying this year.  Do you think I am depressed or something?

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Dear Not Feeling It,

I’m not a medical doctor, so I can’t tell you if I think you are depressed or not. If you think you might be depressed, I encourage you to seek out your primary care doctor or make an appointment with a mental health professional in your area. There is no shame in that. Take care of you.

You do sound a bit overwhelmed and stuck – and those things I can help with.

First of all, I really dislike “resolutions.” We use them in a way that makes them almost always unrealistic and unattainable.

“I want to lose 50 pounds this year.”

“I want to give up sugar.”

And what happens the first time we check the scale and haven’t lost a pound – or perhaps gain a pound? It’s over. We’ve failed – in OUR minds.

When we can’t resist the sugar craving and give in? We failed. We couldn’t give up sugar. That’s the end of the resolution – for most people.

Resolutions lack a foundation for your goal. They lack a vision – a complete vision of where you see yourself at the end of the year; a vision that includes seeing the path to get there and support to help you along the way.

I don’t think you lack hope or that you’ve given up. I think that with the overwhelm in the world and stress with the pandemic and not knowing when we will be able to get out there and live again – I think you just lack a vision of where you want to be at the end of the year. And I get that it is hard to imagine the future when we don’t know how long we are going to be dealing with this present situation.

It’s okay to not have a plan yet or a set vision. Another thing I dislike about resolutions is that they tend to be unforgiving when you mess up or don’t stick to them unfailingly. Be gentle with yourself. Be willing to dream and be open to forgiving yourself when you get off track.

My advice; Dare to dream.

Your vision will come once you are open to dreaming that your life can be all you desire.

Wishing you hope and dreams,

Genie

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