Dear Genie #32

Life Advice from Spiritual Counselor, Dr. Genie Mathews Pinkney


Today’s letter was sent to me by someone in my Safari Self-Awareness Challenge group. This person wants to remain anonymous and I respect that, but also want to answer her concerns to support her through this challenge – and possibly help others in the group feeling the same way.


Anxiety Discomfort writes;

Dear Genie,

I’m in the safari challenge class but too embarrassed to ask you this in the group. You challenged us to be okay with feeling uncomfortable, but that feeling is anxiety to me. I don’t think I can do this because of my anxiety acting up. Should I just quit?


Dear Anxiety Discomfort,

First, thank you for contacting me in a way that allowed you to feel safe. I’m so glad you reached out.

I’m so sorry that anxiety is something you have in your life. I am also someone with anxiety and I totally understand how the feeling of discomfort raises your anxiety level. I want you to make the decision about going forward with the challenge based on your own health and safety. That always comes first. Please don’t feel any regret if you stop participating – remember our first expedition guide told us no shame, no blame, no guilt for our emotions. You have access to the program for as long as I have the teachable school – so when you choose, you can jump back in and watch the videos and play along as you are able.

If you decide to keep going, here are some things that help me when doing the uncomfortable parts of growth and change:

  1. Listen to your body. Don’t push further than you are safely able. If you feel anxiety coming – take a break and refocus on things that lower your stress.
  2. Knowing that discomfort is coming and is part of the process helps you pre-plan some ways you can keep your anxiety at a minimum.
  3. Definitely follow all advice from your doctor or therapist.
  4. Understand that allowing yourself to manage even a small amount of emotional discomfort will build resilience and support your ability to manage anxiety attacks.
  5. STILL, your health and safety are always priority. Don’t sacrifice either. Go at a pace you can safely manage.
  6. Applaud every step you take, no matter the size, in trying to heal and grow.

I hope this helps you make the best decision for your life. Thank you for your question because I know there are others in the challenge who are feeling the same way and aren’t sure if they should continue.

Best Wishes,

Genie




Dr. Genie offers workshops, classes, challenges and membership coaching on her teachable school, Genie Mathews Academy. The Safari 5-Day Self-Wisdom Challenge is one of those offerings.

Dear Genie #31


This week’s letter is about connecting with your psychic ability. If you have a question to ask Dr. Genie, send her a letter using the contact tab on the website.


Born with a Gift writes;

Dear Genie,

I think I have psychic abilities but never had anyone I could talk to about them.  I sometimes have dreams that come true, and I hear a voice that warns me about things that happen. My family thinks anything about psychic ability is the devil or will open a portal to hell.  I don’t live at home anymore and I want to work on my psychic skills but don’t know where to start.   

Dear Born with a Gift,

I think it’s wonderful you noticed your psychic ability and I’m deeply sorry you have felt you couldn’t connect with it in a safe space.  The unknown metaphysical world is still very scary for people and they fall back on superstition to back up their fear.  Your family isn’t bad for denying you your truth – they are just afraid. 

But you are now in a place where you can safely acknowledge and work with this gift and would like some guidance on where to begin.  Congratulations on taking this step! It’s quite brave.

I just want you to know that you are not alone.  Everyone, and I really do mean everyone, has psychic ability.  Some more than others perhaps, but everyone has the ability to connect with their soul voice and with the collective consciousness and divine realms for knowledge. 

That’s what psychic skills are – a connection with the energy of the metaphysical dimensions.

There are a few main categories we use to describe psychic gifts, but often people have a combination of several.   They are the Clair Sisters…

  • Clairvoyance, or clear seeing.
  • Clairaudience, or clear hearing.
  • Clairsentience, or clear feeling.  (touch, feeling in your body)
  • Clairalience – clear smell.
  • Clairgustance – clear taste.
  • Claircongnizance – clear knowing. (you know something but don’t know how you know)

As you see, these abilities align with the 6 senses we have as humans.  If you’ve ever gotten goosebumps, a knot in the pit of your stomach, or knew something good was going to happen and you felt it in your heart – that is psychic ability.  That is your soul voice and its connection to the metaphysical realms that is speaking to you.

Your most powerful psychic ability is the one that will get your attention. 

Your soul voice speaks to you in dreams (clairvoyance) and with a voice (clairaudience).

The way to build a stronger connection with your soul voice is with a spiritual practice that helps strengthen your intuition.  (Intuition is another word for psychic ability.)

There are many, many, many kinds of spiritual practices.  The great thing about spirituality is that it’s about you as an individual.  You can use whatever spiritual practices you choose.  Whatever aligns with you and whatever makes you happy is perfect for you. 

To discover what aligns with you is your first step.  Self-discovery and awareness are where to begin your journey. 

It’s time to get to know who you are, now that you feel the freedom to do so.  You do this with questions.  Ask yourself the questions you would ask someone new in your life that you are trying to get to know. 

Look in the mirror and ask yourself…

What makes you happy?

What brings you joy?

What helps you relax?

What bothers you the most?

Would you like meditation?

Would you like to walk in the woods?

What are your dreams for your life?

What is your biggest fear?

What fills your heart with joy?

What is your biggest regret?

What is your proudest moment?

…and so on. 

This is not a one-time thing.  This is your new spiritual practice.  Until you get to know who you are, this is the way to connect with your inner voice and strengthen your intuition.

You will want to keep a journal.  Write down the things you discover about yourself.  Log in your psychic experience.  Be descriptive.

Then, the next steps of your journey will appear to you naturally.  You’ll know if you want to begin a meditation practice.  You’ll know if you want to try yoga.  You’ll know if you find camping is the best way for you to connect with nature and the stillness within you.  You’ll know if you have bad habits you need to work on – like too much technology before bed which will inhibit your dream visions.  You’ll know if you need more in-depth “shadow work” to help you clear out limiting beliefs and negative thinking that block your intuition. You’ll know if it’s time to find a group of life-minded people to help mentor you on your journey. 

You’ll know because you’ll be better attuned to your inner voice which is becoming your compass for living your life. 

Some other ways you can work on self-discovery:

  • Use an oracle card deck for drawing daily cards that give you prompts to think about.
  • Notice your thoughts and the judgements you make about yourself and others.
  • Notice when you are happy. (dive deep into what made you happy)
  • Notice when you are unhappy. (dive deep into why)
  • Ask friends to describe your personality, the way you communicate, or to describe things you may not see in yourself.

And, when you come across things you aren’t happy with about yourself – find forgiveness.  Self-awareness is not about blame, shame, and judgement.  It’s about knowing who you are, so you know what direction to go in life.  It’s about healing.  It’s about living a life you love.   Be kind and compassionate with yourself. Practice self-care.

Self-awareness takes time, but it’s a great gift to have.  It will allow you to distinguish between your soul voice and your limiting beliefs voice and help you move forward with confidence and connection. 

That’s where I advise you to begin. 

Best of luck!

Genie


For more Dr. Genie, listen to her podcast on Spotify.

Dear Genie #30


Today’s letter was sent to me a while back and I was very uncomfortable answering it. This is a very controversial topic. But, after receiving some wisdom recently, I feel I can answer it with love and compassion and without overstepping.


Desperate Parent writes:

Dear Genie,

I have a parenting question.  My daughter was throwing a tantrum in the store the other day.  I put my groceries back and took her out of the store.  I gave her a couple smacks on the bottom and we went home.  My friend was furious when I told her I smacked her and said that it isn’t okay to give a child discipline like that and I should have given her a time out.   Can you tell me if giving a light smack on the bottom is okay or if it is child abuse like my friend thinks? 


Dear Desperate Parent,

My.  What a can of worms to open.  But here goes.

Legally, is it ok?  I don’t know, I’m not a lawyer. 

Medically, is it safe for your child?  I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. But physical abuse of children can be deadly and horrific and if you are leaving marks on your child you should get help for you and your child immediately.

Psychologically, is this damaging your child?  Can’t advise on that because I am not a psychologist. 

As a mom who used corporal punishment a few times, I wish I hadn’t. Knowing what I know today, I have deep regrets for making that choice.  

As a spiritual counselor and soul doctor – here is what I can offer:

First, we start with you – your motivation for using corporal punishment. These are questions to ask yourself.  This is not about judgement.  This is about self-awareness – which is the root of spiritual development. 


Why do you use this method?

What are the steps you take before, during, and after using this method?  (what is your process?)

How do you feel before using this method?

How do you feel after using this method?

Do you think there are legal, physical, or psychological ramifications to this method? If so, what are they?

Would you stay in an adult relationship where your partner treated you with shame, pain, fear and conditional love?


Take some time to review your answers.  If you are unhappy with any of them – consider a change.  There are lots of resources out there. I listed one at the bottom of this post.


I can’t speak specifically about your child, but I can talk a bit about the way young children generally perceive things.

Before the age 7, children get all their beliefs from the people around them.  That includes beliefs about themselves. 

If you tell a child they are a good girl, they believe it. 

If you tell a child they are a bad girl, and you add shame, blame, and pain to it, they believe it for a really long time – maybe forever.

If expressing their emotions means they receive pain or shame or fear – they believe emotions, honesty, and truth are not allowed.  They believe some emotions are bad.

If they are allowed to express all of their emotions and guided to appropriate ways to express them, then they believe that emotions are good but that there are ways to express them that are better than others.

If the love from their parents is conditional on them behaving in a certain way or only expressing certain emotions – they will become domesticated, like a pet, and will fear acting on their own desires.  Or, they will act in defiance out of self-defense and do the opposite of what you want them to do. 

Shame.  Pain.  Fear. These are not expressions of love. They are expressions of unlove. Conditonal love. There are conditions on the love. I love you if and only if.

If you don’t act the way I want you to act then I will give you shame, pain, and fear.

Do we shame, cause physical pain, or make those we love live in fear?  No.  Those things are part of conditional love.  “There are conditions you must meet before I can love you.”

Those conditions might get your child to behave in public.  They might make your child do well in school. They might give you the pride to look at others and say what a good child you have.  Others might compliment you on what a good child you have and what a good mother you must be. 

But, will your child feel unconditionally loved by you? 

Will your child know they can live and speak their truth?

Will your child grow up to pursue their dreams, or the dreams of those who wanted their behavior under control as a child?

Will your child grow up to have manners and be respectful and good, or will they grow up afraid to be who they really are in front of others so they hide who they are and keep secrets from the world?


So, in the end, my advice to you is this: 

Decide whether or not you want to love your child with conditions, or unconditionally. 

Decide whether you want a child to grow up to be a person who feels free to live their truth, or one who feels they must live for the wishes and desires of others. 

Make the choice of what kind of parent you want to be truly– not living the wishes and desires of what others think you should be or society wants you to be. 

Then, be that parent. Make your choice. Raise that child with those goals in mind.   And accept the consequences of that choice.

Just as your child will live with them. 

I wish you all the best and for you to receive the divine clarity you seek on this subject.

Dr. Genie


I am not making claims or assertions about the legality or health of the parent or the safety and health of the child in this post. As a mandated reporter, I will do my duty and report any suspicion of abuse. This post does not warrant such action.

Child Abuse is a serious issue. If you think a child is suffering from an abusive situation – whether by a parent, at school, at daycare, church, sports, or anywhere, please do the right thing and contact authorities.

There are lots of resources and information to help parents, children and educators at ChildHelp.org


Dear Genie #29

Advice on Life, Living Your Dream, Leadership, and Love


This week’s Dear Genie letter is from someone who is concerned about their negative thinking. Dr. Genie talks about facing these negative thoughts and healing the wounds and limiting beliefs behind them.


Thinking Negative Thoughts writes:

Dear Genie,

I was hesitant to write about something I feel within myself.  I have so many negative thoughts that run through my mind.  How do I control my thoughts that sometimes bring fear within me?


Dear Thinking Negative Thoughts,

This is such an important question and something in which EVERYONE deals with.  You are not alone and I’m very glad you had the courage to write. 

Negative thoughts arise from the secrets and limiting beliefs you try to hide from yourself.  We call these secrets SHADOW. They are wounds or beliefs that are painful and so you ignore them and don’t heal them.  Healing can be uncomfortable – in fact, it usually is.  So we disown these feelings and try to forget them.

These painful beliefs, memories, and wounds lie in your subconscious and try very hard to become conscious – they try to get you to notice them. 

Negative thoughts are a way that your hidden wounds are saying, “hey – I’m here and I need your attention.”


Some of the ways that your wounds try to get your attention are:

Negative Self-Talk and Negative Thoughts

Dislike in Others What Needs Healed in You

Triggered by the Behavior of Others

Deflect Feelings About Yourself on to Others


Anything that you put off healing and ignore will just keep coming up to try and get your attention.  And it will get louder – which means your negative thoughts, deflection, triggering, and pet peeves with other people will get worse. 

Negative thoughts are a symptom of a wound inside you that needs your attention and healing.

The first step to healing, is to notice them.  Give the negative thought some attention – but in a way that a teacher notices a student who raises their hand.  You say, “how can I help you?”  You don’t take it personally. 

“How can I help you?”

Then listen to see what else your mind says. You’ll find that your mind will give you reasons for thinking the negative thought.


For example, what if your negative thought is, I’m not good enough to do my job.

“How can I help you?” you ask this thought. 

Your thoughts begin to tell you WHY you think you aren’t good enough…

I don’t have the qualifications that others have – I am not as good at sales – I don’t seem to be liked by my co-workers – my boss doesn’t notice my efforts


You can ask any negative thought you have, How can I help you?

Work with your own negative thought now.  What is the last negative thought you had? Ask it, “how can I help you?”

What does it tell you? WHY does your mind think this thought?

Take that information and write it down. 

Now look at it.  Are those statements true? No. They are not. They are fear and pain.

What is true? Change those negative statements to positive ones.


From the example, you could say:

                My qualifications are exactly what I need to do my job.

                I will continue to learn and grow the longer I work.

                My sales increase as I get more at ease with my job.

                My co-workers will love me once they get to know me. 


This is work.  Stopping negative thoughts takes time and practice.  Most of all, it takes you being willing to notice your thoughts and question what is really going on within you. 

This is called Shadow Work. It means bringing light to all the things we keep in the dark.

Accept them, acknowledge them, and then you can address them.   

If your thoughts are leading you to harm yourself or others, of if you cannot face these wounds on your own, please reach out for therapeutic support with your doctor or a counselor.  They will help you create a safe space in which to work with your negative self-talk and thoughts. 

Best Wishes,

Genie

For more information on working with your shadow, you can sign up for my course Life by Design at our Academy.

Dear Genie #28


Spiritual Advice from Dr. Genie Mathews Pinkney


Too Old for a Life writes:

Dear Genie,

I’m 64 years old. I spent my whole life caring for other people.  I watched my sisters when we were children.  I raised my own children.  Then I took care of my parents until they passed.  I never went to college or had a career or saved money or traveled.  I feel old and that I am too old to accomplish anything in my life or even enjoy it. 


Dear Too Old,

You are NOT too old, and you have plenty of life left.  As long as there is breath in your lungs you have time to live a happy life focused on you. 

You just need to take one step towards what will make you happy.

You mention you feel old – that can mean a lot of things.  But lets address it generally.  If you feel physically unwell, make sure you see your doctor and work on any health issues you have.  Check your diet and drink plenty of water. 

Also, get out of the house and move your body.  Take a yoga class or walk in the park – yes! Even in the snow.  Breathe in that fresh crisp air and bring your lungs back to life.  Maybe find a social or civic group where you can volunteer or spend time with friends. Find reasons to laugh!

Then, when you are feeling a bit better, visualize how you want the rest of your life to look.  You have time to make this dream come true, you just need to see it and believe it.  You can check out my Life by Design Course for free on my academy – it’s the 2019 version, but it’s a great place to start!

Feel better and enjoy your life.

Love,

Genie


P.S.

Today is Groundhog Day! Also known as Imbolc, it’s the halfway point between winter and spring solstice. Check out my blog on Choose Love Ministry about this ancient holiday: Spiritual Wisdom on Imbolc. G

Dear Genie #27


Not Feeling It writes:

Dear Genie,

For the first time ever that I can remember I didn’t set any new year’s resolutions.  I can’t think of anything I want that I feel that I can achieve this year.  I don’t want to say I have given up but I am really lost and just kind of feeling I don’t see the point in trying this year.  Do you think I am depressed or something?


Dear Not Feeling It,

I’m not a medical doctor, so I can’t tell you if I think you are depressed or not. If you think you might be depressed, I encourage you to seek out your primary care doctor or make an appointment with a mental health professional in your area. There is no shame in that. Take care of you.

You do sound a bit overwhelmed and stuck – and those things I can help with.

First of all, I really dislike “resolutions.” We use them in a way that makes them almost always unrealistic and unattainable.

“I want to lose 50 pounds this year.”

“I want to give up sugar.”

And what happens the first time we check the scale and haven’t lost a pound – or perhaps gain a pound? It’s over. We’ve failed – in OUR minds.

When we can’t resist the sugar craving and give in? We failed. We couldn’t give up sugar. That’s the end of the resolution – for most people.

Resolutions lack a foundation for your goal. They lack a vision – a complete vision of where you see yourself at the end of the year; a vision that includes seeing the path to get there and support to help you along the way.

I don’t think you lack hope or that you’ve given up. I think that with the overwhelm in the world and stress with the pandemic and not knowing when we will be able to get out there and live again – I think you just lack a vision of where you want to be at the end of the year. And I get that it is hard to imagine the future when we don’t know how long we are going to be dealing with this present situation.

It’s okay to not have a plan yet or a set vision. Another thing I dislike about resolutions is that they tend to be unforgiving when you mess up or don’t stick to them unfailingly. Be gentle with yourself. Be willing to dream and be open to forgiving yourself when you get off track.

My advice; Dare to dream.

Your vision will come once you are open to dreaming that your life can be all you desire.

Wishing you hope and dreams,

Genie


Dear Genie #26


This week’s letter is from a client who requested a card reading.  I thought the question she had was particularly relevant to many people and asked her permission to share. 


Decision Limbo writes:

Dear Genie,

I was going to start a business then covid happened and I put it off.  It’s now Christmas and I am missing out on the sales I could be making in the way of gift certificates which are a huge income in my field.  My biz is going to be a holistic wellness shop and spa with energy healing and massage.  Now the vaccine is almost ready and I am wondering should I try to rush and open before Christmas and try to make enough sales of gift certificates and advance bookings to get me through until I can see clients?  The energy I am feeling is telling me to go for it.  My brain is telling me it’s a huge risk and if I blow the opening I might not recover.  Which is the right choice?  I could use the sales money and having a list of clients to really get going once the vaccine is given out.  Do you have time to give me a card reading?


Dear Decision Limbo,

As a business owner myself, I definitely understand getting your opening right.   Should you do a soft opening now for holiday sales?  Let’s think on this first.

What are the logistics of opening?  Do you have a space ready?  Do you have your state licenses and certifications?  CAN you open quickly – like in the next week?   

Also, I assume you won’t be taking clients now, due to covid still being an issue – what kind of advance bookings can you reasonably expect for a new business with no current clientele? 

Your shop might do well for holiday gift giving – do you have resale stock on hand? 

Is there an option of having an online sale for any resale stock you have on hand? That might get you some income before the holidays and allow you to start growing a potential client base without promising services you can’t provide yet.

The feeling you are getting that tells you to “go for it” – is it your intuition speaking or fear energy that you are missing out?

These are tough questions you need to ask yourself.  You must be honest with your answers so you can make a good, sound decision. 

But, since you are having a hard time knowing what your intuition is telling you – I am happy to draw you a few cards…


Card 1.  Spiritual Strength

9 Spiritual Strenght. The Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck by John Holland.

This is the last card in the Spiritual Health Suit.  It is about achieving inner strength – discipline, patience, and persistence- in working to achieve your goals.  I love this card for your problem because it is saying, “You’ve done the work and you’ve been patient.  Turn to that inner strength once again to help you with this concern.  Don’t give up.  Don’t be reactive.  Don’t act from fear.”   Remember to be patience, disciplined, and persistent.


Card 2. Foundation & Achievements

4 Foundation & Achievements. The Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck by John Holland.

Another Spiritual Health Suit card.  This time is it asking you to look at the spiritual foundation you have built.  You’ve worked hard on your holistic tools and to gain confidence in your skills.  Trust yourself and your ability to make decisions.  Trust in the timing of launching your business.  A strong foundation takes time to build – a rushed foundation will crumble.  This card is telling you, “trust that when your foundation is strong, you will know it’s time to launch.”  Trust that you will know the answer when it is time. 


Card 3. Rejoice in Celebration

3 Rejoice in Celebration. The Psychic Tarot Oracle Deck by John Holland.

Your final card is from the Emotional Health Suit.  This card anticipates a time of celebration, success, birth, and victory.   It says to you, “when you follow your heart and intuition, there are no limits to what you can achieve.”  If you trust yourself and listen to your intuition (and not to fear), you will be successful – no matter if you begin your business now or in the new year. 


Summary:

You made the right decision this year in delaying your business opening due to covid.  It took patience and discipline to make that choice – it took trust in the future.  Right now your faith in that decision is faltering because you fear you are missing a big opportunity to gain clients during this major season of shopping and gift giving.  Refocus on why you delayed opening.   Patience is key here to getting through this fear.

Once your fear is moved out of the way, your intuition will come through much clearer.  Trust that you will know your inner voice when you hear it.  Trust the message you receive.  Trust that when it is time for you to open, you won’t need to question whether it is right or wrong. 

If you connect with your true self – your soul self – through patience and trust, you will have success and an abundance of clients. Once you stop making decisions from fear, you make them from love.   Act from soul – from love – from your intuition, and you’ll live your dreams.

And so it is.


That was a great reading!  I think the cards spoke loud and clear!  Don’t make this decision from fear of missing out.

Try meditation to help reach your soul voice and make sure to spend some time visualizing exactly what you want your business to look like – your clientele, your shop and spa space, how do you feel, and how amazing is this business you’ve built? See it exactly as you want it to be.

Best wishes!  I’m looking forward to seeing you when the covid is controlled. 

Dr. Genie


To send a letter with your problem or concern, click HERE. It’s confidential!

Dear Genie #25

This week’s letter is a hot topic and one I know many of you are struggling with today and upcoming Thanksgiving gatherings.

If you would like to submit a letter to Dear Genie, you can write me HERE.


Thanksgiving Anxiety writes:

Dear Genie,

I’m having anxiety about going to Thanksgiving at my parent’s house this year.  Usually there are 20 or so family at holiday dinners, but because of Covid there will only be me, my parents, and my dad’s two brothers.  I’m the only one of this group who did not vote for Trump and everyone but mom is very vocal about their support for him.  Again, usually this wouldn’t be a problem because there are so many people and different conversations going that I can stay away from politics but this year I am really afraid it’s going to be all politics.  I don’t like to argue and debate, and I sure don’t want to sit for hours listening to them going on about the election when I feel the opposite of them.  It will be torture and I want to stay home.  Any advice?  Do I just argue with them?  Do I tell them to shut up?  Do I not go?


Dear Thanksgiving Anxiety,

I’m glad you wrote as I know there are many, many, many people who can relate.   We all have those family members who show up and must be the loudest and the most insulting and the most “right about everything and they are going to tell you about it.”

It’s frustrating even under the most festive of events.  This year it is even worse for many of us because we do not have the large crowd to distract us from their overbearing rudeness.  I get it, I really do. 

I can’t tell you whether you should go or not.  There is a lot that needs to go into that decision, like, are your parents healthy?  Do you see them often?  How is your relationship with your parents? Would they be terribly hurt if you didn’t come?  Is this a family ritual you want to break?  Are YOU making the choice or allowing extended family and their behavior to make this decision for you?  Is attending this year a threat to your mental health?

Your answers to those questions may make it easier for you to stay home, or help you decide to attend.  Definitely give them some thought.

If you choose to go this year, I have a few suggestions to help you set your energetic vibrations and mindset at a level that will help you during the day. 

  1. Speak to your parents ahead of time and ask that they set a boundary that no politics be discussed that day.  Explain that due to the stress of the pandemic and election you are just mentally tired and need the time with them to be happy and joyful. 
  • Think of some topics in advance to broach – some lighthearted things.  Get out family photos and take a trip down memory lane.  Lead the conversation as much as you can so there is not an opening for uncomfortable subjects.
  • One thing I do is to meditate before going into situations like this. Visualize a pleasant meal and conversation – everyone smiling and jolly.  Feel the happiness and joy.  Then, ask that energy to travel to the future, to your parent’s home – let that energy engulf the house and everyone who enters.  When you are there and unpleasant conversation comes up, just close your eyes and ask that energy to enter your heart.  It may not stop unpleasant conversation from coming up – but it will help you calmly and lovingly change the subject.  “Who is ready for dessert?”
  • Lastly, I would advise you to just be really comfortable with who you are and what you believe and understand that the way others believe is a reflection of them and the way they feel about themselves.   Don’t take them personally.  That’s not easy at first– but it will help reduce anxiety and allow your heart some room for empathy.

It’s dreadful, I know. There are just some folks with no edit buttons that just want to get a rise out of you – they tease and taunt and like to upset people.  Don’t play their game.  Play yours! 

Whatever you decide, I hope you enjoy the day in gratitude and hope for the coming year.

Light & Love,

Dr. G

P.S. Remember to still social distance and wear a mask if you feel the need to do so, no matter how others may judge you.


Dear Genie #24

This week’s Dear Genie is an issue we can all relate to in these uncertain times – being cooped up at home with the entire family.


Want to Run Away writes:

Dear Genie,

COVID-19 has destroyed my marriage and I want to ask my husband for a divorce.  I don’t work because we have two children, and my husband has been working from home since April.  He complains about the noise from the kids and I can’t run the vacuum or do laundry until he takes a break.  We argue all the time, and something has changed between us.  I honestly can’t stand him, and I think he feels the same about me.   We used to have date nights and sit up after the kids went to sleep and talk and now we stay as far away from each other in the house as we can.  He hasn’t mentioned a date night in months.  I am never happy anymore.   I don’t think we can get back to where we were and I’m not sure I want to with him.


Dear Want to Run Away,

You could not have picked a more perfect signature for your letter because what you both are feeling is fight or flight response emotions. 

The fight or flight response is an automatic physiological reaction to an event that is perceived as stressful or frightening. The perception of threat activates the sympathetic nervous system and triggers an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee.  psychologytools.com

Like most of us in the US, you are experiencing high levels of stress and fear due to covid and other things going on in the country.  Your husband is also trying to adjust to a new work environment under the same stress you are feeling.  And, neither of you are getting a break from the stress because, as you mentioned, you aren’t even leaving the house for date night.  I’m guessing you aren’t leaving the house to do anything relaxing or fun. 

We have a surge in the pandemic happening right now.  I would say that this lock down/work from home situation is going to continue for some months.  That being said, you and your husband both need to find time alone – and then time for one another to reconnect to the love you share.  Self-care and date night might look a little different right now, but they are both still vital to your mental and spiritual and marital health. 

You didn’t mention how the children are doing with dad at home and being a bit grumpy.  Look for signs of how they are dealing with the stress.  Make sure they have some time outside every day and encourage dad to have some fun time with them in the evenings.  Remember, they feel what you are feeling and don’t have the emotional maturity to process those feelings. 

Everyone in the house needs self-care and time to destress.  Here are a few things you can do even with the kids:

Meditation  Kids are never too young to learn this tool.  There are many mediation soundtracks available and videos on youtube.  Let them know that when they aren’t able to sit quietly any longer that they can go into another room and play with quiet toys or color if they are old enough.

Mandala Coloring

Puzzles

Foot Bath

Exercising

Noise Cancelling Headphones and a Good Book (while dad has time with the kids)

Aromatherapy with Lavender throughout the House

Zoom Call with Friends

Open Communication with Everyone in the House

Be Kind to Yourself about Schedules and Chores

Get Plenty of Fresh Air

Do Something Creative

As for you wanting a divorce, unless there are things you didn’t mention here, I would hold off on that decision until a less stressful time.  I think you would like to be divorced from the stress much more than you’d like to be divorced from your husband.   BUT, reconnecting with him sooner, rather than later, is probably a really good idea.  Let him know you are feeling the stress just as he is and that you need to help each other through this time.  Then take a walk together. 

Wishing you the best! 

Dr. G


If you have matters of the heart and soul that you’d like to talk to me about, please send me a letter and I’ll do my best to help you. SEND A LETTER

Dr. Genie is the founder and minister for the Choose Love Spiritual Ministry. Each week they offer services and programs to inspire you to seek your own spiritual connection and healing.

New Beginnings

initials

 

When we were sitting in our group creating vision boards back in January, we could never have guessed the turn of events that have led us to this new reality.

Ouch.  Did you just cringe when you read that as bad as I did when I typed it?

New Reality.  That’s what we are calling this virus ridden, murder-wasp invading, online living, toilet paper disappearing, face mask wearing, social distancing, absolutely surreal existence we’ve got going on.


I’ve been locked down in my apartment with the hubby and the son.

Since March 8th.

In this small apartment.

The hubby has been working and making very loud phone calls.  The son has been on video games, screaming at the other players, and shouting “dude!” excessively.

It’s not been the ideal time for me to be online creating courses or videos or otherwise sharing content.  So I haven’t been.

I also noticed that my social media timelines were flooded with free classes, LIVES, self-improvement content, and so much stuff that it was suffocating.  The universe was telling me that I could use the downtime – so I rested, read, listened to podcasts and got my head together.

I had time to check in with my soul – see where I wanted my biz and ministry to go from here.  I talked with my board members and friends and bounced ideas off them.  I almost decided to pack it in at one point because I still needed to pay rent and bills on the studio even though we haven’t been operating.

Then, the most amazing thing happened.  The gals who have been coming to classes and talks and meditation, all pitched in for a fundraiser I put together to raise money to keep the studio current during the shutdown.  They also shared their support and their hopes that we would keep going and explaining how much they enjoyed the programs and what the studio has meant to them. I have been absolutely moved beyond words by thee gals.  It has meant the world to me to have a tribe of friends to have my back. I decided to come up with a biz idea that would give back to them and everyone who puts their trust and energy in to my programs.


Apply


Starting now you can apply for General Membership in to our organization.  It’s free! And, it comes with some benefits:

  • Group Meditation Sessions
  • Support Group Sessions
  • Exclusive Member Events
  • Discount (10%) on classes, soul doctor sessions, and purchases from the Metaphysical Nook
  • Voting rights at annual General Membership Board Meeting

Most of these benefits are for you if you live locally.  However, if you live further away, a membership is beneficial if you might consider attending our annual retreat or making Metaphysical Nook purchases from Facebook LIVE sales.

All of our programs are still open to anyone, without membership, for an entrance fee or suggested donation.

Additionally, there is an option of becoming a sponsor for programs.  There are four levels of sponsorship and loads of benefits.  You can check out the information video on our homepage.

One sponsor level is really cool for those who don’t live locally or those who don’t want free courses or sessions. This is Sponsor Level IV and is $10 a month dues.  Check out all the Sponsor Levels on the Membership page.

For $10 dues you get all the General Membership Benefits PLUS a private Facebook group exclusively for sponsors.  Each month I will host a LIVE energy clearing and a mini-course.  Also, I give a LIVE oracle card drawing each weekday with a weekend forecast drawing on Fridays.  This group will give lots of access to me so you can ask questions and grow in your spiritual quest.

Join and pay $10 sponsor dues today for the rest of May and June in the LIVE group.

May LIVE schedule


This new membership and sponsor plan is the best way I can give back with real  value.  It’s going to keep costs down for members while allowing my ministry to grow and continue to host really great programs.  It’s a win-win for everyone – and that’s what I am all about.


I’ve also had some time the past, what,  8, 9, 10…12 weeks, to think about the courses I want to offer online.  What is it that I really want to teach and share.  What is my real expertise – my real spot of genius?  How have I helped others the most?

It’s not easy pinpointing one single niche when you’ve kind of been a Jack of all trades.  But, I think I found it.  In the next few weeks my website is going to be down for a massive professional rework and when it goes live again my signature course will be up and ready right here on this site AND a I’ll have a book released on Amazon to accompany the course.


This has not been an easy few months, especially for those who haven’t been able to cocoon and rest.  Front line workers- nurses, doctors, paramedics, those in our food supply chain – you’ve really stepped in to the hero zone.  I hope we never forget how you all rose up and saved us.

And I hope those of you who did have the opportunity for introspection and growth were able to find your way to that space amidst the stress and fear and worry and search for toilet paper.

I did without even knowing it.  I learned some things about myself – that my impatience still needs work, and that my message is actually reaching people.   So, no matter what this new reality is for the world, my personal vision and passion are unchanged.  I want to continue to spread the hope of love becoming the NEW new reality one day.

In health & happiness,

Dr. G ♥

Online Membership Now Open