The Bubbly Personality Lie in Spiritual Leadership

Almost every spiritual business mentor and teacher I have and every “how to succeed in life” speaker I have listened to have all been incredibly bubbly, extremely happy,  cheerleader-like personalities.

“Hi, beautiful gals!  Let me show you how to be fabulous sacred healers and attract high value clients! You too can live a life of joy and abundance lovelies! *smiley face, heart, party streamers, praying hands, smiley face*”

That upbeat, confident, bubbly social media message reels me in every time.  How about you?

I mean, someone that happy and successful – because all of these sacred biz mentors and teachers are successful – must really be an amazing spiritual guru, right?  They must have all their shizz together and so this is someone I have got to listen to and emulate if I am going to be successful.  

I am calling bullshit on this spiritual lie.

I finally understand that the bubbly persona is just a caricature – a sales gimmick – an infomercial to get you to buy what program or course they are selling.  It’s not sustainable longer than the length of a webinar or Facebook Live because all spiritual leaders and teachers have the same problems everyone else have – they just choose to be inauthentic and hide their truth so you will buy their happiness model.

Bubbly does not equal happy.  Bubbly does not equal joy.  Bubbly does not equal spiritually awaken-ness. 

Images I found on google about the shadow side of bubbly personalities:

 

I can’t tell you how much I have beat myself up because I am not a bubbly person and never have been.  I have always been the level-headed problem-solver who people confide in because I am calm and rational and serious.  I’m going to tell you the truth in a compassionate and positive way without sugarcoating it with balloons, hearts, giggles  and a false sense of potential outcome. I can even motivate you without pom-poms or a locker room speech.  But, the last couple years I have often wondered if my scholarly demeanor and lack of cheerleader skill was going to stall my growth as a teacher and leader.  I wondered if I was really happy if I couldn’t present myself in a bubbly manner.

Yes, I doubted if I was happy because I couldn’t fake pretentious happiness. 

Sure, I laugh and I smile when I feel it to do so – I’m neither cold-hearted nor a robot. I live with a ton of joy in my heart and enjoy life with zest every chance I get. I am happy and I am healing and I am growing.  I love life!  I love teaching!  I love learning!  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!

I want more than anything to pass on content and education that can help others heal and grow and live happy lives.  I just get in this zone of seriousness and even-temperament when I am teaching.   I don’t spend a lot of energy on creating momentary high vibes and using emoticons to give temporary smiles. (I do use them, just sparingly)  I am in this for the long haul and your long-term happiness and joy.

I’m just not a great salesperson.  I’m really bad at being inauthentic and bringing out my inner actress. That’s probably because I am much more interested in helping you than I am in taking as much of your money as I can get.  The truth is that I can only muster just so much bubble even when I am trying to sell a course or product I think would really benefit your life – not because I don’t care or because I don’t want to get you excited to buy my course – but because I want you to buy it because you want to heal and grow, not because I did a Jedi mind-trick on your emotions.

Are there genuine bubbly people – yes, absolutely!  But, even the bubbliest of people have shadows.  A person who is truly awake and desiring to help others will know that being authentic is vital in spiritual teaching and leadership – it is how you model getting through shadow days that is the real path to spiritual growth.

Be careful of “spiritual leaders” who keep their shadows a secret and only present their sales persona.  And, don’t automatically discount those who present themselves in a calm, even-tempered demeanor because they may just be the most real teachers you’ll find.

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From Hobby to Career

I’ve been a spiritual coach and teacher for a few years now.  I’ve blogged when I wanted,difference between hobby and career offered private sessions when I had time, and made this a second life apart from my family and other jobs.  I have set soft deadlines for courses and really treated this passion of mine as a hobby instead of a career.  And that worked just fine for a long time.  It gave me room to make mistakes and learn and grow and it also took the pressure off of me trying to earn a living in this field – which is really lucky since I have offered most of my services for free.

A few months back I made the decision that it was time to switch gears and make use of my training and skills and love of helping others in an increased capacity.  It felt like the time was right to transition from hobby to career and to try to earn a living doing what I love.  I thought I’d share the first hurdle I had to get over in making the change…

…having a plan.

See, when I started to do this full-time, I was still behaving like I did when it was a hobby.  Sure, I was doing it daily or several times a week – writing blogs, sharing on social media, daily live card drawings, advertising paid services here and there- but it was still very much, do what I feel like doing, write about what comes to mind, advertise this or that, and share random (though informative) social media posts.  

I was overwhelmed keeping up any kind of daily to-do list.   I didn’t have a plan.  I didn’t have a routine.  I didn’t have the slightest idea how to make this a career.

What I did have was a great business mentor, Dr. Aly, leader of my doTERRA team.  I began paying attention to her work ethic and it became clear how she built a very successful online holistic biz and leader of one of the fastest growing doTERRA teams; She has a plan.  And she works that plan everyday.  And she makes changes to that plan as she needs.  And she just never stops.

So, the first thing I did was to change my habits and create a daily routine that keeps me on track.  While getting used to a daily work routine, I began creating my business plan and goals.  Even if you think you know where you want to go with your business, it’s great to put it in writing because you see all the steps you are missing and what you really need to get there.  I just used the same steps as in the 2017 Goal Planning Course that I offer for free on the Academy. (Goal Planning Course)

Now that I have a plan and I know what direction I am going in, it has made a huge difference in my being able to schedule my daily tasks while still leaving time for client appointments and the personal stuff I still have to take care of day-to-day. 

I created this weekly planner sheet to help me keep track of all the things I need to take care of each day.  This one is blank, but on my personal one I fill each daily block with the stuff I have to do every single day – from live readings, to appointments, to drinking enough water and getting something done around the house.  (I work from home and so I have to schedule house chores so I don’t get side-tracked cleaning and not work on my sacred biz!)

In the circles, I list my social media accounts and the days I will post and the topic.  Some of those I do twice a week, some once a week, and some I share what I posted on other accounts.  My blog is included in the circles and I have planned to blog twice a week.  So, one circle is for my blog.  Another circle is for Instagram.  The third circle is for Facebook.  And the final circle is for Pinterest.   You could use them for anything you want to standout from your daily routine.  

I use the thin block under the title to write a mantra or theme for the week.  This has helped me stay inspired and working towards my dreams.

You can right click and save the image, or download the pdf version by clicking the title.

2017 Weekly Planner

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If you are a lightworker, empath, or intuitive and are hoping to start an online career and need some help, let me know.  Just message me at the contact tab above.  I can let you know how to join my holistic biz team to get tons of training, advice and support.  Yes, it’s through my doTerra team – but, honestly, we are about building holistic businesses – with the essential oils or without them.  We teach you how to build your blog and website, how to post on social media, how to make images to post, how to zoom and live stream… and lots and lots more.

Let me know if the weekly planner is useful!

♥ Genie

 

3 Tools to Raise Your Vibes

Each Wednesday on my Facebook page I draw two oracle cards to seek motivation and raising our vibes midway through the work week.  I do a daily reading  every weekday using a different intention and two different decks, which I choose intuitively.  Then, I coach on the messages given to me through the cards. You can view my Live drawings each day here >>> Genie’s Facebook

Let’s face it – we need motivation and inspiration on other days of the week, too.  Probably every day!  So here are a few of the ways I keep myself motivated and higher vibrating, even when it’s a struggle to do so.

1. Turn off the phone and TV and distractions. This allows you to think, plan and “hear” your inspiration when it calls.   These cell phones are sometimes a curse.  We just tune out – shut down – stop listening to the world and our own inner voices as we scroll and scroll and scroll through newsfeeds and posts.  Turn them off.  Set them aside.  Get back in touch with you.  Especially if you need motivation and inspiration.  It’s inside you if you will only pay attention!   Listen.

2.  Do something that brings you joy.  Play with your children.  Take a soak in the tub.  Sit outside with your cup of coffee and listen to life around you.  Listen to music.  Call a friend.  Dance.  Buy someone a meal.  Diffuse some uplifting essential oil blends.  Swim.  Read.  Make a gratitude list.  Smile at the check out clerk who is having a bad day.  Whatever it is that fills your heart with joy and happiness – do that!  Inspiration and motivation will flow with your vibrations lifted.  Feel. 

3.  Write a brief story of what your life will look like once your reach your goal or complete your task.   Write a paragraph or two as if you had already accomplished your goal.  What will it look like, feel like, be like once you get your goal is met?  How will you celebrate?  What will your emotion be like?  Feel that emotion as your write.  Relief? Pride? Victorious? Joyous? Are you dancing in the end zone?  Let that feeling motivate you to keep going until you get there!  You will get there.  Believe.

Hope these suggestions help.  ♥

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Aroma of Fall

Last week I hosted a workshop on Facebook about essential oils.  The workshop was geared towards people who have never used EOs but have wanted to learn about them.

I picked out ten single oils that I thought would be great for beginners.  Of course, I used doTERRA oils as examples because those are the ones I am familiar with, but I tried to choose aromas that were easily available elsewhere.

These oils weren’t all “easy” oils – as in, easy to know how to use them.  I put together a group of oils that covered the spread from “easy” to “never even heard of that before”.  The oils are:

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If you’d like to lean about these oils and get some great downloadable slides of ways you can use these oils if your daily life, it’s not too late to join the Facebook group and check out the workshop.  The material will be up for a couple weeks, so you have plenty of time to watch the Live video replays and download all the images.  >>Enroll Here<<

Everyone who is signed up for the email list in this group also got a special download of a poster I created with Fall Essential Oil blends for your diffuser – some of the oils from the workshop are in these blends, plus a couple fall aromas like clove, cinnamon and ginger.  Here is a jpeg of the poster so you can fill your home with the Aromas of Fall.   You can save it to your Pinterest board for future access!  

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Tough Love and Depression

This is not the blog I intended for today, but my cousin started a conversation on Facebook and I felt this was the direction I needed to go in today.

He asked this question:

Does anyone ever get so depressed or anxious that you can barely bring yourself to take care of anything, even yourself?  And does it help you feel better, or motivate you, when someone tells you that they know you are depressed but you still need to take care of your responsibilities?

The fact is that no, approaching a person during a depression or anxiety event with shame and guilt is not motivating or healing or able to solve anything.

Here is the thing some people don’t understand – when dealing with a person in depression or anxiety, you are dealing with the depression illness and the anxiety illness, not with the person.  Can you reason with an illness?

Someone in a depressed or anxious state is suffocating underneath layers of their mental illness – guilt, shame, unworthiness, hopelessness, helplessness, sadness and self-loathing.  Logic and reason do not penetrate these steel-like blankets of emotional chaos.  The depression must be addressed before the person can be reached.  

What good is piling another layer of guilt, shame or demands going to do in this situation besides increase the suffocating depression or anxiety?  This kind of “tough love” only makes things worse.

My cousin then asked, “What if they say, I know you are depressed but…”

We know what follows the but; but you should just get over it; but you just need to buck up; but you just need to deal with it.  BUT, that approach never, ever works.  Period.

Can we reframe that question?  I know you are depressed so…

…so, how about let’s take a walk?

…so, how about I fix you something healthy to eat?

…so, let’s go for a drive.

…so, let’s see if someone else can watch the kids.

…so, tell me what you are feeling.

…so, what can I do for you?

…so, how can I support you?

One small act of kindness, compassion and love can actually be enough to remove some of those layers and get a person moving out of a depression or anxiety episode.  Anything that you can do to help the person get grounded and participating in this moment and out of their heads is a change in direction that can really help.

And what if that person refuses offers of support – refuses to take a step towards healing – won’t let you help them? Won’t take their medicine?  Won’t get out of bed?

This happens.  And, sometimes the cycle just needs to run its course and loved ones just have to live with it.  You may think that if you are stern or commanding that this person will fall in line because you’ve given them no choice.  But, remember, you aren’t dealing with them, you are dealing with an illness that has no allegiance or care for you and your commands.  If there is any occasion to use tough love, it may be on yourself in regards to not giving up in your attempts to be supportive even when that support is rejected over and over.

 

And, for those of us that live with depression and anxiety,  when we aren’t depressed or in the midst of anxiety, we need to make sure we acknowledge that our illness can be exhausting for our loved ones and caregivers.  Mental illness is an illness.  Like cancer or MS or addiction or any physical disability that requires support from loved ones, it can take a toll on those helpers.  We need to express gratitude for the support we receive, but also make sure that everyone is practicing self-care and stress relieving techniques and not pouring from an empty cup.

And what if the “tough love” giver is a manger or co-worker or someone who isn’t emotionally invested in our wellness?

First, this is why self-care and stress relief is vital to our success.  Fewer incidents of depression or anxiety can be achieved when we take care of ourselves during regular days.  This means fewer interactions of “tough love” at work.

Also, if you find you are working in an environment where mental illness is not understood, step up and offer some training.  Your first hand experience is invaluable and you might find that it becomes easier for you to be open about your journey and that others become more open about their own.  This may also allow you to plan ahead and have a plan-of-action in place that supports your emotional needs and the work-related needs of your job.

The truth is that no one is tougher on themselves than a person with mental illness.  Beating ourselves up is part of the self-loathing and hopelessness layers that we unwillingly pile on ourselves.  Tough love directed a person in a depression is like kicking someone when they are down.  Piling on is illegal in football and not a welcome approach to mental illness.

Education and compassion are vital in being a support to someone with any illness or disability.  Tough love just doesn’t work.  Best to leave it to trained professionals and you do what you do best – love the person in your life who has depression or anxiety.

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Ten Things You Need to Know About Making Friends If You are an Introvert

I am a classic social introvert, although I didn’t know that until a few years ago.  I am the person who loves to go out, and then sit in a corner and watch everyone else.

I like to go to events and be alone at those events.

I am a watcher of people – I study what others do and I live through their experience.  And I am okay with that.  I didn’t used to be.  It used to upset me greatly that I would go out and not “have fun” myself.  I blamed it on others.  I blamed it on people just not liking me.  But, the truth is that I have always given off the energy that I am a watcher and not a talker or doer in social events.  Yes, I am one of those parents who absolutely lived through their kids experiences!  And I loved every minute I spent watching them do their thing.

I’ve been called “moody”.  I’ve been told I “look mean”.  I’ve been told I just need to “relax”.  And you could always find me sitting away from other parents at ball games and events, whenever possible.  Some found that “standoffish”, I suppose.  But, the truth is that it was just me being a social introvert – wanting to be out in the world, but wanting to do it from a distance.

Until I figured out this is who I am, I fought my natural tendencies to be alone and forced myself to interact and become part of the group.  Anxiety would take over and social functions ended up being nightmares for me.  Going out became excruciatingly painful and I began skipping team dinners and events even for the kids if I knew that socializing was a must.

When I was trying to be part of a group and to fit in with other parents or neighbors or community members, I never did “fit in” because I wasn’t meant to – it wasn’t authentic.  But, because I wasn’t self-aware or self-accepting, I thought fitting in was what I was supposed to want – that being part of a clique is what I was supposed to do.  I was miserable, though, because I never could live up to that.  Weddings, reunions, group dinners, family gatherings, home sales parties, barbecues with strangers, and work functions – anxiety ridden nightmares.

So, where did I feel comfortable?  Small group gatherings of people I really knew well or hanging out with just a single friend – at home .  Gatherings where I could sit back and watch all the goings on and not have to participate.  Less stimulating environments mostly, but not always.  Really large gatherings like conferences, concerts, college or even high school football were okay because I wasn’t expected to interact with others except an occasional “high-five”, clap, or cheer.

It was looking at this pattern of anxiety versus comfort that clued me in to the fact that I am massively introverted and allowed me to begin healing the negative thoughts and beliefs about my not being overly social.  I liked being around others, if I could disappear in to the background.

Once you accept and acknowledge where you are, you can then work on loving yourself and living with the person you are – instead of fighting your natural instincts at every turn.  

But, I still had a problem – I wanted friends and friendships.  Humans need other people, after all.  How to find and keep friends that could work with my discomfort in partying, hanging out with strangers, going to unfamiliar places, and hanging out with me mostly doing very boring things would be quite a journey.

Here are some things I have learned:

  1.  Don’t pretend to like doing something just because someone else does.  You’ll end up anxious and won’t have fun.
  2. Talk about your personality with new friends so they know you aren’t being distant or turning down their requests to hang out because you are snobbish.
  3. You can be friends with extroverts if you can understand each other’s quirks and not judge each other.
  4. Try socializing if you feel like it.  It’s okay to say no – but it’s also okay to say yes – even if that means you need to leave early or take many trips outside for fresh air!
  5. Be honest.  Don’t lie to get out of something.  Lies always come back to bite you in the tush and ruin friendships.
  6. Remember that it is not all about you.  There will be times that you have to suck up your anxiety, discomfort, and fears and put your friend’s feelings first.  You will regret not going to a friends wedding or graduation party or baby shower!
  7. Make sure you are working on your self-care and self-awareness so that when opportunities to enjoy friendships do come up you are in the best emotional place to enjoy them.
  8. Give and Take.  Compromise with your more extroverted friends.  They hang with you at home watching a movie on Friday and you go out with them on Saturday.  Do an IOU if needed, but a person won’t stay friends with someone who repeatedly lets them down.  Be honest about your level of comfort in socializing.
  9. Use social media wisely.  It is so easy to meet people online, just be careful.  Also, airing your personal problems on Facebook is often a trap for introverts because you aren’t face-to-face with people.  This is a huge mistake for anyone.  Private message a close friend if you need to vent or talk about a problem.
  10. Love yourself for who you are uniquely and individually.  Get rid of any old beliefs that tell you how you must socialize or how friendships are supposed to operate.  There are lots and lots of people who will accept and love you for you – and visa versa.  Just be you.  ♥

 

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Essential Luxury

Essential Luxury – what does that mean?  It sounds like an oxy-moron.  How can something be essential and a luxury?

Let me explain.

Essential Luxury is the name of this month’s free workshop on Facebook.  I host one each month on a beginner level holistic healing topic for anyone new to spirituality, energy healing or metaphysics.

The topic this month is Essential Oils and so the “Essential” in Essential Luxury has a double meaning.  First, it refers to our topic, essential oils.  In this way it means the essence taken from a source to create the oil.  We’ll briefly learn about these sources and how the essences are extracted in our workshop.  But, essence isn’t the only meaning in the workshop title.

Essential also means necessary.  A basic need.  Something vital.  A rough, raw, bare-bones element necessary for subsistence.  It is quite literally the opposite of luxury, which is a want or desire fulfilled; an extravagance, an excess, an abundance or overflowing of non-essentials.

Yes, essential and luxury, needs and wants, are quite the opposite and it seems odd to put them in a title together as such.  Guess what else are opposites?  Yin and Yang.  Masculine and Feminine.  Light and Dark.  Sun and Moon. Work and Play.  Putting these words together is about one thing…

BALANCE.  

Essential Luxury is about bringing balance and harmony to your life with the use of essential oils.  With essential oils you can balance your moods, your Chakras, your reliance on medications, your use of toxic chemicals for cleaning and your overall health and holistic wellness.

AND, feeling your best can absolutely lead to you living a life of abundance and following your heart’s desires!  Not to mention, using essential oils in your daily life can give you the feeling of extravagance, pampering and living the good life. Essential is Luxury when you use essential oils in your life!!

Join me for this month’s workshop and discover how you can add essential oils to your life in practical ways.  Click the “Workshop Enrollment” tab above to sign up.  I’ll send you a reminder a day or two before the workshop and give you a link to download the bonus of the month. This month’s bonus is digital poster with lots of essential oil diffuser recipes for fall and a few roller bottle recipes with the best fall aromas!

 

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Private Coaching Packages

I’ve been coaching clients 1-on-1 for almost two years in addition to doing a lot of free teaching and mentoring through Facebook.  I’ve been wanting to take what has worked in my individual sessions and mentoring and put them in packages that are more affordable than individual sessions in the long-term and which have a clear direction for our time together.  This also helps me set boundaries more clear and limit the number of clients I take on in any month so that I can fully commit to each individual client and be the best possible coach for them.

1-on-1 Coaching Packages

I currently offer two basic coaching plans that are open to clients locally or via distance.  Distance coaching is done through several modalities – text, email, Zoom calls and Facebook messenger calls.  Zoom and Facebook allow for face-to-face conversations that are private.

I offer a free 30 minute consultation to everyone who wants to work with me privately.  I think it is fair to allow you to get to know me and for me to get to know you before we decide to make plans to work together.  Coaching packages are put together for a specific time frame and I do not do single sessions, so it is important that we resonate with one another before beginning sessions.

To book a package with me, contact me through the contact application above.  Make sure to give me a good email address and I’ll send you a quick questionnaire and info about how the packages work.  If you still want to work with me then we will set up your free consultation and you can choose to speak on the phone, via zoom or Facebook messenger call.


Package 1:  Intensive Care

This package is called Intensive Care because it is geared towards clients with urgent short-term needs.  It’s for those needing to “put out a house fire”.  If you have a short-term stressful situation – wedding, court case, project deadline, job searching/interviews, house hunting, moving, and things that are temporary, stressful and that you need some coaching to help get through.  This package is not for long-term change and growth or transformation, though you will learn and grow as you go through any stresses in life and learn to handle them.  Also, I only take on two clients a month for this package because of the need to be available on short notice.  

All face-to-face coaching sessions include suggestions for essential oils and crystals.

This package includes:

  • 4 one-hour face-to-face sessions (in-person or Zoom/Messenger Call).  One scheduled per week.
  • Unlimited email and text support during normal business hours.
  • 1 hour each week of live phone call support, unscheduled, during biz hours.  You call when you want, and I will get back to you asap.
  • 1 distance Reiki session per week or 30 minute session in-person.
  • 1 private oracle card coaching session per week with your intention.
  • Phone emergency support 24/7 during the peak day of the event or situation you are working with me on.  (at the wedding, during the court decision, moving day, interview day…)  We will choose this peak day in advance.
  • A thirty minute follow up call the week after our last session.
  • Tribe Quest private Facebook group membership for life.  (Small group support and inspiration)
  • 10% Discount on future package purchase.

The cost for the Intensive Care Package is $750. 


Package 2:  Life Transformation

This package is called the Life Transformation because it is a longer term package that allows for deeper coaching and mentoring for real life change.  This package is great for anyone starting over in life with no plan or direction.  This package is very helpful to women who are dealing with major life shifts – starting a family, going back in to the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom, changing careers to follow your dreams, dealing with the loss of a spouse, and any major life event or trauma that sets you on a journey of completely changing your life.  This package helps with long-term life changes and allows me to walk with you side-by-side as you transform.  Though clients may be in a less urgent need for my availability, I only take on four clients in this package at a time so that I can be fully engaged and aware of your plan and path.

All face-to-face coaching sessions include suggestions for essential oils and crystals.

This package includes:

  • 12 weekly one-hour face-to-face sessions on Zoom or Facebook Messenger.
  • Free Tuition in my Vision Quest Course ($199 Value)
  • 1 distance Reiki session per week or 30 minute session in-person.
  • 1 private oracle card coaching session with your intention.
  • Unlimited email and text support during normal business hours.
  • Tribe Quest private Facebook group membership for life.  (Small group support and inspiration)
  • 1 hour each week of live phone call support, unscheduled, during biz hours.  You call when you want, and I will get back to you asap.
  • 1 Live goal planning and action step session on Zoom per 12 week package.
  • Goal Planning and Action Step individual support and accountability.
  • 10% off future package purchase.
  • First chance at open spots for future  package 2 sessions.

The cost for this Life Transformation package is $1800, payable in three monthly installments of $600 per month.  

 

These packages may not seem affordable for some, but I always ask you to consider what is the price you put on emergency help or long-term happiness and joy from moving through a life transition successfully.  I set my price so that I can take on fewer clients and serve those clients to the very best of my ability.

Don’t forget there are many ways that you can work with me in group settings for free or low cost.  I offer daily oracle card counseling life on my Facebook page.  There are free courses on my Holistic Wellness Academy and I teach a free workshop each month on Facebook (see the Workshop Enrollment tab above).  Additionally, you can order Tarot Readings and Distance Reiki on my Etsy shop for a 1-on-1 session with me via email.

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Getting Out of a Funk

It’s been almost two weeks that I’ve been in this funk.  Yes, the term “funk” dates me, but I like how it describes my general mood.  It’s not a depression or sadness or anger.  It’s just feeling funky – not myself – out of sorts – a lower vibration that doesn’t fit neatly in to one of the levels on the Emotional Vibration Scale.

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I’ve spend time each day on self-care and keeping my head above water – not allowing myself to sink in to a negative state.  But, as soon as I would catch a glimpse of Facebook news or comments in the groups in which I am a member, that yucky, not-myself, funk would wash back over me.

The mood put me in a bit of brain fog.  I had a hard time getting motivated to work on my biz or on homework for my masters degree courses.  I even turned off my favorite football team at half-time over the weekend – even though it was a great game.

My daughter would call me “salty”.  That’s a great word, too.  I mean, salty isn’t a bad word – just like I was not in a bad mood.  It describes, perhaps, being a little more coarse, or less soft, than normal.  Yes, I have been “salty”.

After days of meditation and soul searching, I believe it’s the result of being an Empath and absorbing energy from the tremendous amount of pain and suffering happening in the US and around the world right now.  The fires in the western part of the US and the hurricanes with so many people suffering.  The floods across the globe.  The politics and wars.  The deep division in the US that reaches down to the core value of who we want to be as a people.  Tremendous fear and pain going on and you can’t escape it if you turn on the TV, radio or internet.

I’ve been pushing the ideal of choosing love versus the fear and hate and negativity – but in doing so, I have been fighting those things while standing up to them.  And, that’s a great thing – something I hope to keep doing – but it really drained my energy and I think the hurricane disaster and the looming Irma on the way really bottomed out my vibes.

The great thing is that I was able to recognize it was happening and with self-care I have been able to work through it and come through the other side feeling strong and confident and high vibe!  I have been feeling better and better the past few days and today I feel awesome!

Here are 12 things I have been doing to pull myself out of this funk I’ve been in:

  1. Meditation each day.
  2. Acknowledging my mood – not running from it.
  3. Lessen the negative listening – give myself a break from others’ drama.
  4. Keeping my daily morning routine – this is where a self-care routine really helps.
  5. Sleep.  Getting really comfortable with soft pillows and blankets and hogging the bed. Room temperature cool and favorite pj’s on while cuddled with the pillows and blankets.
  6. Taking my Solar Plexus crystals and essential oil blends with me wherever I go.
  7. Chatting with friends about fun stuff.. no politics or problems.
  8. Get the snacking and bad eating in check.  (comfort food was making me feel blah!)
  9. Cut out groups, pages, and following social media that is consistently negative.
  10. Get outside to move your body.  (I played some basketball with my hubby- great fun!)
  11. Get up and do something you love for exercise.  (Turning up the music and dancing plus doing some Qi Gong for me!)
  12. Making lists of things to do to refocus and give you a purpose.  This was a huge help for me.  Lists should be for something you want – goal related or passion related – not chores or shopping lists.

 

I pulled two cards today with the intention of getting advice on helping us get out of a funk so we can keep sending high vibes to these areas of devastation.  You can see the live video of my reading on my Facebook page, Genie Mathews Intuitive Life Coach.

The first card, See Only Love, is from the Daily Advice from You Angels deck.  This card reminds us to love yourself as well as others.  Focusing on love brings healing.  This is very true when you are feeling down or “salty” and need to pull yourself up.  Think of ways you can love others and love yourself.

The second card, Sound Check, is from the Trust Your Vibes deck and is talking about being mindful of the things you are listening to that may be causing you to be in a funk.  This was true for me, not only with the external talk coming from news about all the suffering going on, but also in my own head with negative thoughts and energy I was absorbing from others.  Check what or who you are listening to and see if you need to take a break from these sources so you can get your vibes back up.

Life happens.  We all get a little out-of-sorts emotionally sometimes.  It’s how we use the tools and knowledge available to us to heal these down times that makes the difference in coming through the other side of it without trauma.  Work on your self-care routine and learn about some of these tools that have really helped me on my journey – most of them are available to learn about on my Holistic Wellness Academy.

Continued Light and Love to all our friends and family affected by the wild fires and hurricanes and other devastating events going on right now.  Prayers for your healing and strength.  

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Have Mercy

I’ve been much more politically active the past couple weeks, despite my intention to withdrawal from the political energy in the USA currently.  I have had a difficult time merging my inner activist with my spiritual path because, let’s be honest, activism is not a peaceful or passive activity.

I had stopped sharing posts about the US President and had silenced my outspoken critiques of those who would seek to treat my country as a business transaction, with no compassion or concern for the needs of her people.  I didn’t stop keeping up on what is going on in my country, but I had stopped letting events dictate my mood and the message I was giving to the people who see my posts.

And, then, Charlottesville, VA happened.  The horrifying sight of modern day Nazis and their march of hate was something I simply could not be silent about.  For two weeks I have been pointing out the images of hate and suggesting that we make another choice – that we choose to fight our evil enemy with love.

That’s a tall order, I admit.  How does one look upon a situation like Charlottesville through the eyes of love? First, we love ourselves enough not to allow their hatred to make us respond with similar hate.  We control our emotions and our response and rise higher than those spewing hatred.

This does not mean that we are passive.  This does not mean that we are okay with the ideals being spread by Nazis and the KKK.  What it means is that when we respond, and we have, it is with confidence, clarity, and calm.  This response is only possible if we are living through love instead of through fear and hate as the white supremacist groups do.  

Through the lens of love and compassion it is easy to see that these groups are motivated by fear and that fear leads them to hate.  They have been spun up and lied to by fear-mongers who seek power and domination. Their fear is completely irrational and unsound and that makes it nearly impossible to reason with those caught up in this vortex of fear, hate, anger and untruth.  These folks are not connected with reality and that makes them quite dangerous and so our level of compassion must be tempered with our resolve to always advocate for peace, truth, and justice.  Compassion, here, allows us to see the reasons these groups hate, and then protect ourselves from falling in to the same irrational fear trap in which they are caught.

The given reason for their march at Charlottesville?  To protest the removal of a statue to a Confederate General… and to incite fear in those who oppose what the confederacy and the Nazis and the KKK have stood for.  You don’t need torches and guns to peacefully protest.  Period.  Those things were used to send a message of fear.  Full stop.

As for the statues to confederate heroes – can we be honest?  These people gave up their allegiance and citizenship to the USA.  They created a new government which rose up with an army to fight against my country.  They killed American citizens.  And, they did so to protect their economy and way of life which was based on one thing and one thing only – the slave trade.

The confederates were traitors and terrorists.  They lost their war against the USA and in any other country in the world, the generals would have paid with their lives and their soldiers would have died in prison.  But, for the surviving confederates, they were blessed with mercy from Presidents Lincoln and Johnson.  The south was ruined financially and many lost their wealth and their lands, but they were gifted with their lives and the restoration of their U.S. citizenship.

Mercy was shown to betrayers, traitors and terrorists.  This act of mercy allowed a nation to heal.  It allowed us to forgive the transgressors, and, to quickly forget the anger and hate we felt towards those who sought to tear apart our country and keep our African brothers and sisters in chains.  Over time, these confederate leaders would become heroes to some.  Statues, parks, lakes, towns, schools and resorts in my home state are named after confederate generals.  My home state broke from the south to join the north and today there are confederate flags on 1 out of every 3 vehicles because mercy shown to the confederacy meant we would not hate or ban their images.

Mercy.  An act of compassion.  A gift of forgiveness.  A measure of kindness. 

Here is the problem.  There is one group of people we have failed to show mercy towards – the surviving slaves and their descendants.

Oh, sure – slavery was abolished, eventually.   And then what? What did we bestow in the way kindness and compassion upon the people we had been monsters to for so long?

Jobs?  Uh, no.  Many former slaves were forced to stay on the plantations where they had been prisoners because where else were they going to go to work or live?  And working conditions weren’t better on plantations for them because of any emancipation proclamation.

Constitutional rights?  Again, nope.  Blacks had to fight and die for the right to vote and be counted as a whole human being.

Education?  Segregated schools.  No blacks allowed colleges.

Freedom?  Whites only lunch counters.  Blacks to the back of the bus only.  Whites only water fountains.  No blacks allowed to purchase homes in certain neighborhoods.  High Rise densely packed housing.  We don’t hire blacks job listings.

Liberty and Justice?  Disproportionate prison sentences to white counterparts committing equal crimes.  The manipulation of drug and gun sales in black neighborhoods.  The lack of access to lawyers, juries of their peers, and equality in the system.  The lack of leaders and law makers on all levels of government.  The failure of school systems to hire black teachers or teach content applicable to the black experience and black history causing a disconnect between blacks and their sense of community and belonging.

Safety? Lynchings, cross burnings, church burnings, assassinations of their leaders and of white leaders who support their fight, and police brutality.  Police in the USA are still profiling and killing black people with no cause and getting away with it.  These statues that the Nazis and KKK are fighting to save – most were installed as a way to intimidate blacks during their fight for rights and to remind them of white dominance over blacks during slavery.  And the history of lack of access to medical treatment, blacks being used as lab rats (without their knowledge even!) and cities unwilling to ensure quality services to black neighborhoods. Hurricane Katrina New Orleans 2005 and the Detroit water situation in 2017 folks.  

The United States of American and her people have refused to show any measure of mercy to the Africans we kidnapped and enslaved or their descendants. In fact, we have done our best to build insurmountable blocks to every right we are privileged to behold.  Every ounce of freedom, liberty, and justice obtained by blacks has been fought for with their own lives. We have shown no mercy – in fact, we have done quite the opposite.

It’s time we show some mercy.  It’s time we stop saying that if confederate statues have to come down then so does the MLK memorial.  It’s time we stop saying blacks are animals after we built housing to force them to live like animals in cages and stripped all measure of dignity, hope and pride from them for generations.   It’s time we stop incarcerating black men while giving their white counterparts probation.  It’s time we stop bitching about giving equal rights to others because we falsely believe that somehow takes away our rights (cause all it takes away is our dominance).

It’s time we showed the same mercy for blacks that we showed to traitor confederates.  Take down the confederate statues.  Hire black teachers.  Allow black employees to wear their hair the way they want to wear their hair.  Get the history of the USA correct and include the contributions of blacks and atrocities of whites.

And apologize when hate groups like the Nazis and the KKK march with torches and guns to incite fear and their claim to dominance over others, because if you are white, then you helped build that by participating in the lack of kindness and lack of compassion and in the absence of mercy in which this country has behaved.  It’s time we gave mercy to those who deserve it.

Do it because you love yourself enough to be merciful to others.  Do it to erase the shame you feel over the atrocities committed in your name.   Do it because its right and just and it’s the way of a loving people.  Do it because it’s good for your soul.

Choose Love.  Have Mercy.

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